I Never Thought Turning Eighty Would Be So Much
Carolita Johnson
If You're On A Budget
Carolita Johnson
New Yorker July 31st, 2006
Carolita Johnson
Is that all you can think about
Carolita Johnson
The Man Who Knew Enough
Carolita Johnson
Excuse Me, But I Think You're In My Seat
Carolita Johnson
It's Not You - It's Natural Selection
Carolita Johnson
Feeling Stupid Yet? No? Then Keep Going!
Carolita Johnson
I Was Going To Wake You Up With Oral Sex This
Carolita Johnson
I'm Burning My Little Black Dresses And Moving
Carolita Johnson
First Cats To Be Domesticated
Carolita Johnson
Forget It, Josh - Neither Of Us Has The Time
Carolita Johnson
Would You Mind Taking A Picture
Carolita Johnson
I Paid Three Grand For This Dress - I'll Wear
Carolita Johnson
What Makes People Wear Clogs?
Carolita Johnson
I'm Kind Of Enjoying Black-tie Fridays
Carolita Johnson
Moist Towelette To Cleanse Your Palate?
Carolita Johnson
The Passive-agressive Door-holding Game:
Carolita Johnson
By Easter, A Pardoned Turkey Has Often Lost All
Carolita Johnson
Throw In One Of Those Brochures About Refinancing
Carolita Johnson
It's 4 A.m. - Maybe You'd Sleep Better If
Carolita Johnson
Am I Having An Affair? Why? Am I Allowed?
Carolita Johnson
Your Early Stuff Was Funnier
Carolita Johnson
I'm Looking For Something Less Empowering
Carolita Johnson
Dab A Little Of This Behind Your Ears. It'll
Carolita Johnson
Finally! Cheap Is The New Black!
Carolita Johnson
Wait - I Almost Forgot Why I Called
Carolita Johnson
New Yorker April 2nd, 2007
Carolita Johnson
Excuse Me, But For Some Reason
Carolita Johnson
It's An Epic Novel About A Guy Who's Trying
Carolita Johnson
It's James Earl Jones From Verizon Again -
Carolita Johnson
I'd Like To Start Seeing Other Castaways
Carolita Johnson
Sometimes I Think You Only Married Me Because
Carolita Johnson
Take My Coffee - It's Worth Five Dollars
Carolita Johnson
Jennifer Felt Perfectly Safe Walking
Carolita Johnson
New Yorker November 7th, 2005
Carolita Johnson
Due To A Bomb Scare At Times Square
Carolita Johnson
And This Is My Significant Mother
Carolita Johnson
I Don't Understand Why You Insist On Pushing All
Carolita Johnson
It Says, 'someday You Will Die.'
Carolita Johnson
Jen? You Seem A Little Withdrawn
Carolita Johnson
We'll Be Single Again In Heaven
Carolita Johnson
I'm Running Late - Some People Were Waiting
Carolita Johnson
Honey, I Got A Brand-new Bow For Our Car!
Carolita Johnson
I'm Not Trying To Be Beautiful
Carolita Johnson
You May Already Be A Nobel Prize Winner!
Carolita Johnson
You Fight, You Don't Have Sex - Isn't It Time
Carolita Johnson
You May Now Begin Your Insane Experiment
Carolita Johnson
Healthy Enough For Bacon
Carolita Johnson
Man In Kitchen Surrounded By Dishes
Carolita Johnson
Take Your Time
Carolita Johnson
This all started with the Fancy Feast
Carolita Johnson
Who's A Good Dog?
Carolita Johnson
The Cat Has To Go
Carolita Johnson
And on the 8th Day
Carolita Johnson
Turning It Off And Taking A Nap
Carolita Johnson
Monument Of The One Who Did The Dishes Yesterday
Carolita Johnson
A Man Speaks To A Woman On A Date At A Restaurant
Carolita Johnson
They Hated Me
Carolita Johnson
An Overly Large Bird Peers Into The Bedroom
Carolita Johnson
I Was Stationed At CVS
Carolita Johnson
The only thing holding me together
Carolita Johnson
A Man Whose Body Is Covered Every Inch
Carolita Johnson
I floss alone
Carolita Johnson
An Angel Therapist Takes Notes As God Lays
Carolita Johnson
Will You Still Love Me
Carolita Johnson
Do you have room in your bag for this
Carolita Johnson
Just give him your cashmere
Carolita Johnson
A Man Proposes To A Woman In A Restaurant
Carolita Johnson
A Man And A Woman In Swimsuits And Diving Gear
Carolita Johnson